Dropped out of school to get a job
(made my mother nearly sob)
but I'm in debt to the local mob
and who needs math class anyway?

I saw a sign at the lumber yard
sawing logs can't be that hard
(it sure beats the national guard)
to chop them up and see what they weigh.

Mister Maruka,
I've got a problem.
Could you come over here after you finish your beer
and show me what I'm doing wrong?

I put the log on the table
I push the button "Log Scale"
but every log I add counts for less and less each time
and the first log just brings it to zero.

Well here's your problem over there
The edge is propped up on that chair.
Go pull it out now don't just stare.
I thought you said that you were smart!

Kurt, you're over 12 months overdue
On that loan for the petting zoo
We told you that we'd come for you
so now we're here to break your face.

Get me Jack Napier.
I've got a problem.
Ask him why's this acid
all of a sudden flaccid?
cause isn't he also the Joker?

I threw this vial at Kurt
It should have burned him and hurt
but all it seemed to do is just make him kinda itch
though the pH was only one lower.

When that earthquake hit it shattered all our vials.
We were prepared for a six not a seven.
So why was the difference larger than from five to six
These aren't spaced evenly,
(but) like gauging exponential growth.

But the acid made me blind in fact
so now all that I have is my hearing.
Maybe I'll pursue a job of sorts
in the field of audio engineering.

I'll have someone build a mixing board
with the channels and controls all in braille.
I just want to stay as far away
as I can from a stupid log scale.