Joe came home and thought some of his things might have been taken.
When he looked he then saw the truth that he was not mistaken,
for a fairly large number of his things were gone.

Jewelry and petty cash,
laptop and silverware
tv and stereo
one pound of camembert
grandfather clock and the Playstation 4.

But when he looked to his most cherished storage
(He sought out all his greatest possessions and)
(He sought out all of his things)
filling up half the garage
(things he had hidden away hidden away from harm)
(things he had hid, hiding from harm)
he couldn't believe his eyes.
(what do I see?)
(i'm not seeing things straight)
This must be some kind of mirage.
(a fata morgana ghostly sight.)
(seeing refracted light.)

Who do these people think they are,
deciding what is up for grabs?
What type of idiot would take a silver spoon
but leave these guitar cabs?
And my sugar cube model of the planet Kashyyyk.

Everything's here! Everything's here!
Everything that matters most to me.
Why didn't they find it worth taking?

Everything's here! Everything's here!
Everything that matters most to me,
and so much rage that I'm shaking.

Agh, vintage sears catalogs from '74
oh look over here, Paul Stanley poster taped to the door.
Agh, the whole season six of the Bob Newhart Show.
How could they have left that behind?
Battlestar Galactica cylon number two from episode seven, season three action figure
still in its original packaging! They didn't take it. Idiots.
Mint chocolate chip cookie dough studio candles, still here! Morons.
My pashmina scarf is still here!
My autographed copy of Family Guy's Blue Harvest DVD, still here!
My Dionne Warwick concert t-shirt, wait, that actually is missing.
My collection of raisins in the shape of Mick Jagger's face is still here!
Can you believe it?